Discombobulated

It's been a week now and still, I am hurting all over. Not only am I hurting all over but I apparently have a lack of coordination this morning.

By noon, I had walked into the "tower" on my desk, bumped my elbow into the wall, spilled hot tea in my lap and tripped over my own shoes, at least twice. During lunch, I spilled tea on the book that I was reading. What the heck?! I feel completely and totally discombobulated. My brain and my body just aren't conversing the way that I'd like.

I'm not sure that I'm tired as I went to sleep last night at 10 pm and slept wonderfully until 7 am this morning. Though, I did nod off during lunch today while reading a book that I am really enjoying, so perhaps that is an issue. I don't believe I have over exercised - I ran 4 miles last Tuesday, skipped my Thursday run and rested until Saturday, when I enjoyed a strenuous 4 mile hike (if that) and a had fantastic 16 mile bike ride on Sunday. Obviously, I am not lacking of exercise either. So why is the Fibromyalgia still acting up!?!?!?!?

Today I rest. Tomorrow, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be up to a 4-6 mile run. Same on Thursday. Saturday will be spin, come hell or high water and another long bike ride on Sunday. I am still skipping my strength training to give myself proper rest days and as of today, doubling up on my meds. I will not let this slow me down, even if the pain is taking it's toll. Unfortunately, what worries me the most is the extreme exhaustion which is bound to set in soon, if I can't get this under control.

If ever there were a time I were to pick up faith and pray, now would be the time, haha.

To run or not to run?

This is one of those rare days, when no amount of medication can stop the pain.

When I woke up yesterday I noticed I was feeling a little achy but nothing too horrible. I have a mystery bruise on my right knee that is extremely tender, as is the skin around it. I have a long bruise on my left thigh that is also inflamed and painful. At least I know where that one came from (biking accident with the mentee on Sunday). Bruises, injuries, these can cause some flair ups, but are not usually too much of an issue.

Given the bit of pain I was feeling tired so I went to bed at 10:30 pm last night, thinking I'd be rested and get up at 6 am this morning to do my CardioX routine. Boy was I wrong.

I don't think it was the pain that kept me up initially, but the constant chatter in my brain. Of course, the storm that hit pretty hard last night around 11:30 pm, didn't help either. By midnight, I was on my laptop uploading photos for a girlfriend, something I was suppose to have done a week or so ago. By 3 am I was on the laptop again, googling scenes from "Reality Bites", don't ask why. By 5:30 am I realized that hey, I am actually up and could get out of bed to exercise at 6 am but by this point, due to the lack of sleep, it seemed as though every muscle and joint in my body was just down right pissed off and was not going to exercise, even if I did ask nicely.

When my alarm went off at 7 am, I got out of bed, slowly got dressed and made my way to work. I am moving like an 80 year old woman this morning and am wishing I could cover my entire body in bio freeze or soak in a hot tub or at the very least, need to pick up some Epsom salt for a hot bath this evening.

Thankfully, I don't have these days too often but wish I had the key to figure out what triggers them. The lack of sleep doesn't help. Stress doesn't help. Too much or not enough exercise doesn't help. Which brings me to the dilemma of the day. It's Tuesday, my day to run. Do I feel like I could physically run 6 miles right now? Hell no! But, will running help exhaust me enough to get a decent night sleep? Maybe. Or will I wake up tomorrow morning in worse shape than I am now?

It's days like these that I understand why there are people out there who say the pain is debilitating. But, I find strength in knowing that for me, this usually passes in a day or so. I hope that is something I will always be able to count on.

Thank you for giving me my wings...

My first race was the Baltimore Women's Classic 5k and it took place on June 28,2009. I had just started my interval training earlier that year and had only started "running" a short time before this race. There were two other runners with me that day. One, my good friend Wendy and the other, her good friend Chuck. Thanks to Wendy, we had become Team Bug. I was the lady bug, Wendy the butterfly and Chuck, the dragon fly. We were an awesome team.

I started running in part, because of Wendy. She and another friend of ours would meet up in the wee hours of the morning before the week day started, but the two of them would go about their 3 mile run and I would do my 2 mile walk. My hope was to eventually be able to join them. By the time I got good enough to join them, they weren't running in the mornings anymore, if at all.

So here we are, the day of the race, the three of us happily dressed as bugs, ready to get our flight on and I had conflicting feelings about this race and up until the moment the race started, I wasn't sure what my plan was. Wendy had asked me to run the race with her and Chuck and because of that, I felt I should keep pace with her. However, by then my pace had picked up a bit and running with her meant not running at my best. I have never been a competative person. I always hated sports and how you'd be put down if you weren't as fast as the other kids or didn't do as well and so, it wasn't in my nature to want to "beat" anyone. However, if I was going to run a race, I wanted to have the best possible time I could manage. As the race started, the adreneline kicked in and it was that moment that I decided I was going to run this race for me. I finished in 32 minutes and 02 seconds with a 10:47 min per mile average pace. That was the fastest I'd ever run a 5k. I felt great crossing that finish line and knew it was the first of many races to come.

So here we are, a year later and although I've run a 10k and even a 10 miler since, I was back to once again run the Baltimore Women's Classk 5k on June 27, 2010. My goal this time was to set a PR, a personal record. My goal was to beat my time from my first race. This time it was just me running the race and because I had no help, I didn't wear my wings. Instead, I wore a lady bug t-shirt that I'd worn for my 10 mile race. It wasn't the same without Team Bug and the official costume but the race day fun and excitment from all the other runners had me all a buzz. I started out with the the 10 min pace group, knowing I'd at least hit my 10 min mile goal but was hoping for better and I got it. As soon as the gun went off, I took off, giving it every once of energy I had. Not only did I beat my time, but I blew it out of the water - 27 minutes and 57 seconds. I had a 9 minute pace, my best ever. I look forward to trying to beat my time again next year.

As for the butterfly in my first race, I had just enough energy to run my way through the incoming crowd and search her out. I may not have ran the race with her, but I was delighted to join her as she crossed the finish line.

Thank you, Wendy, for giving my wings.